Let’s be honest, dating can be such a drag! Thanks to  Nicole Moore it doesn’t have to be! Lucky for us, we had the chance to catch up with the renowned dating coach for her top tips on finding your perfect match!

The following has been edited for continuity purposes.

What is a dating coach and why did you decide to become one?

A dating coach is a professional that helps you date successfully to meet your love and relationship goals.  This includes things like helping you process your emotions around the dating experience, helping you keep the faith when you feel like dating isn’t working, helping you create a dating strategy to attract better dates and the right match. 

A great dating coach doesn’t give you a list of rules or tactics to follow but rather helps you show up in dating as the best version of you by showing you how to project a confident, attractive energy, how to communicate well with potential partners and how to get out of fear and out of your head and show up centered, grounded in love and from your heart.  

What is the difference between a matchmaker and a dating coach?

A matchmaker selects people from their database of existing singles that they feel might be a long term match for you and sets you up on dates with them. Then, the rest of the dating process is all on you.
A dating coach gives you strategies to attract potential dates to you via online or in the real world and also helps you with the entire dating process with the goal of helping you attract the right partner and create a happy, healthy love with them. Dating Coaching is about helping a person through the entirety of the love process from finding the right person to creating lasting love with them. 

What are the top things that you see women look for in men? Do you find any patterns within that?
The vast majority of the women that come my way want a man who is emotionally mature, commitment ready, abundance minded, driven and handsome.
They want a man who has it all, so to speak.
The main pattern that I see is that driven, powerful women are just not willing to settle at all when it comes to a life partner.  They reject the idea that they have to compromise by missing out on key qualities that they want in a partner and they feel like they just want a man who meets them where they’re at and brings a lot to the table. 

What is the 5 step process to manifesting your ideal partner ?

Step one - get super clear on what you want and why you want it
Specificity is actually your best friend in manifesting so don’t be afraid of being “too picky.”
The more you know exactly what you want in a partner, the easier it is for you to manifest them in.

Step two - become the match
Ok, now that you’ve written your wish list, step two is super important and really will determine whether you manifest that ideal partner in or not. 

Step three - feel the feelings as if they are already here, on repeat, all day long
The quickest way to become an energetic match for the love that you want and manifest it in is to feel the feelings that you would be feeling if your ideal partner were already here.
Devote five minutes in the morning to sitting and mentally envisioning what you’d be doing if your partner were already here. Saturate yourself in those feelings.  And then, pay attention to your feelings throughout the day and continuously shift them back to these feelings when you notice you’ve gone off into negative feelings.

Step four - clear the blocks
Often, what stops us from being consistent with step three, feeling the feelings as if they were already here, is that we have inner blocks that prevent us from fully believing we can have the love that we want or feeling worthy of it.

Step five - date for growth 

You DO actually have to date to find love! But, when you work steps 1-4 first, what happens is your energy is clearer and more attractive, your mindset is more positive, your heart is fully open and you’re already full of the feelings you’d have if the partner were here, and you are in a much better position to attract lasting love from this place.

What is your magic potion to get a man to open up and actually HEAR YOU and do what you want without force, control, manipulation or neediness? 
I teach women a system of communication that I call loving, feminine communication and it seriously works magic to get men to open up, hear you and do what you want. The basic premise is that whenever we make requests of a man to do more, change his behavior or show up better for us, we want to come from a space of love, not fear. This includes being curious rather than condemning, asking rather than commanding and always coming with an appreciative attitude first instead of making a man feel not good enough.
For example, let’s say you were mad at a guy because he showed up 30 minutes late to your third date.
Many women would either be triggered, angry and pouty or clam up and not share their true upset because they’re afraid to push a man away. Yelling at a man for being late would never actually work to get him to change his behavior because it would put him in defense mode. But, you can use loving, feminine communication to say something like “I’m really glad you’re here now and I’m sure that you didn't mean to be late.  And, I’m curious...is there something getting in the way of you showing up on time for our dates?”

How can women catch the right man, and keep him?

Finding the right man and keeping him is all about knowing your worth, getting clear on what you truly desire in a partner and then showing up on your side of the street with love, not fear, so the other person feels seen, respected, loved and safe with you.

What are some things women do that push men away? Can you ever recover from these (with the guy)?

One of the things that women do that push men away is being in needy, anxious energy.
Many women feel confident up until they really start to like a guy or get attached and then all of a sudden they turn into insecure, needy women that don’t feel ok unless they have the attention and validation from the guy that they like. Often, women get super attached to a guy right away and move him into the spot of “the one” in their mind and then immediately start projecting into the future. The problem with this is that their emotions become father along than the situation warrants because they are really having a relationship with the fantasy of the guy in their mind, not who he actually is right now. Women’s energy moves from I desire to keep dating you to I NEED you to want me, choose me, love me so that I can be ok and when this happens, men feel a ton of pressure and want to pull away. 

How do you think social media and dating apps have changed the way we date today? Are you against/for dating apps?

I am a big fan of dating apps and I actually met my husband on Tinder. To me, dating apps are a busy woman’s best friend. It’s amazing that you can be sitting on your couch, in sweatpants, eating popcorn, swipe a finger and potentially connect with the love of your life that you would never have met otherwise if it wasn’t for the app.

I think success on a dating app is all about your mindset.  If you go into it hating dating, hating men or emotionally closed off then you are going to have a bad experience but if you expect the best, don’t pay attention to the men who are not the right fit and really focus on manifesting the right man in, then it’s entirely possible to meet a great guy online.

What are some common mistakes women make on their dating profiles?

A common mistake that women make on their dating profile is being too boring and generic.
Honestly, no one wants to hear the phrase “partner in crime” anymore and there are a ton of options online so you do want to stand out, be a bit funny or intriguing in your profile and make people want to know more. 
Another common mistake is that women put things like “no hookups” in their profile.  This is a mistake because it honestly puts off a jaded energy. Instead of focusing on what you do not want and basically displaying in a short phrase that you do have a ton of emotional baggage and anger toward men who have used you for a hookup in the past, talk about what you want. I recommend to every client that they use the phrase “looking for a very special man” in their profile.  I call this a challenge phrase because its a slight challenge to a man to step up and prove he is special but it also clearly indicates that you are looking for one partner, hence no hookups, bu tit does it in a positive and not jaded way. 

Lest talk about first dates, what are some of your top first date tips for women?

One of the best first date tips I have is to share emotionally charged stories and experiences and to be really present in your body and keep pulling your attention away from your head all throughout the date.
Most women on dates are super in their heads, analyzing the guy, comparing him to their checklist, worrying about what to say, worrying about how they come off and generally just not present.
When you consciously pull your attention away from your mind and into your body, your energy actually shifts. Present energy is attractive energy and there’s nothing sexier than a woman who is fully in her body.
Practice putting your attention on your hips or on your feet during the date, breathing and just noticing your body sensations rather than listening to every thought in your head. It’s subtle but every time I have done this on a date, men will literally say “I don’t know what it is but there’s just something special about you.” 

The difference is energy.

 How can one find you?

You can find me on my website at www.loveworksmethod.com
On instagram at @nicolemoorelove https://instagram.com/nicolemoorelove/
On Facebook at https://facebook.com/nicolemooreloveworks

And on Youtube at https://www.youtube.com/nicolemoorelove